we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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