Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
