If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
