Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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