I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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