I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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