So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
