they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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