Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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