is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize