there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
