I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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