she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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