It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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