Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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