I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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