This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
