Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize