he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
