he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
