i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
