that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
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