the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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