If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
