my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize