you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize