My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
