Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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