i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
