i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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