I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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