Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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