I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
