So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You need Xanax blowdarts
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
