I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
soo... how was my night?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
