dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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