Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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