Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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