what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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