I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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