i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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