things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
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tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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