i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Even my vagina gasped.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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