Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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