I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
