Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
