It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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