At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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