Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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