I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
