I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
