"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
