i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
