I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
