I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
