It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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