fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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