Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I need help removing her.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
