how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
