i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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