so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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