Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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