Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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