It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
