I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
