I never want to see another naked old woman again.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
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He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
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Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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