just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just had sex on a roof
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
