I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.